Stupidity
by TotallyRandomAwesomeness
Summary: Watching infomercials was not good for Tamaki Suoh. He had a tendency to call anyone no matter what time of day or night to tell them about the wonderful new thing the world has come up with. Random one shot. Rated T just because. Please r&r!


**This story is just some random idea which came to me which hopefully people enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran or any of the products in this story**

'_Stupidity is a sin that is never forgiven and always punished'_

Watching late night infomercials on TV were not good for Tamaki Suoh.

He had a tendency to call anyone no matter what time of day or night to tell them the wondrous new contraptions the world has come up with.

'Oh Haruhi! Sorry to disturb you this late but I have Wonderful news! There is this kitchen invention that can hold this amazing plastic stuff to the wall which can wrap up and cover any type of food! It'd called a 'cling wrap dispenser' isn't it wonderful!'

'Devilish sons! I know it's 4:30 in the morning but there is this wondrous blanket on TV which has sleeves so you can put your arms in it while sitting on the couch! I've just GOT to have one!'

'Oh Mummy I've just learnt of this miraculous commoners contraption! It cleans the floor AND the walls and for only three easy payments of your life savings!'

Host club members will do anything to stop him watching those channels, including sending their private guards over at one in the morning. Team Kyouya was more than willing after last times 'incident'.

Whenever someone mentions 'the incident' the rest of club gives them death stares, horrified looks and Kyouya breaks out in a cold sweat at the thought.

_It all started a few months ago…_

It was just a regular day at the host club. The birds were singing, the sun was shining and Tamaki was sulking. 

'But mommy, why can't I have 3000 Ab rockets and thigh busters?' He whined.  
'I saw them on TV and they look SSSSSSOOOOOOO cool!' 

'No' Kyouya stated blankly.

Tamaki had been pestering everyone for the last half an hour about various 'ingenious' contraptions he had seen on TV the night before (he couldn't sleep and had stayed up late watching TV infomercials).

He started with the 'Bagel Guillotine' on Honey, who had just cried said that it would be mean to behead bagels.

After Mori had finished comforting his cousin Tamaki moved onto him with the 'Singing bird alarm clock'. After not receiving any reaction he moved onto the twins, with the 'Holy Bible: the complete stories of the new testament on DVD'. They just pointed out he wasn't a catholic and laughed at his antics.

Haruhi was the second to last person on his list with the 'Bug buster 5000'. She had just brushed him off so she could focus on her homework.

He had turned to Kyouya as a last resort, already pretty sure of his answer. 

'It's not happening, you don't need them. Now go home' 

Tamaki frowned

'Fine, I will' he sulked.  
'No one appreciates me!' 

Tamaki grabbed his stuff walked to the door and turned to look at the club. 

Honey was eating cake as usual with Mori reading a book occasionally glancing up to see if his cousin wanted more cake, had food on his face or was in immediate danger of any kind. Haruhi was doing an English project which involved a lot of creativity (not her strong point) and Kaoru was helping her, Hikaru was playing his nintendo DSI on the sofa and Kyouya was typing on his laptop. 

'Goodbye my wonderful friends! I...' Tamaki was about to start an elaborate speak complete with glitter and rose petals when he heard an evil sounding chuckle coming from behind him.

He turned to see Nekozawa standing behind him with Belzenelf. 

'Suoh-kun, hello' Nekozawa said creepily. 

'Nekozawa-sempai!' Tamaki exclaimed as a plan came to his head.  
'Byeee!' he yelled into the third music room and slammed the club door shut. 

'Sempai, I need help with something' Tamaki said and explained his plan to curse the host club members and make one of the infomercial products appear in their bedrooms whenever they insulted him. 

'Well...' Nekozawa said. He really didn't think that Tamaki's idea was a very good one, but didn't want to upset him. 

'Pllleeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeee?' he whined and brought out the weapons of mass destruction: his puppy dog eyes. 

Of course, Nekozawa couldn't resist the big eyes and puppy dog tail.

'Ok Suoh-kun, I'll do it, but if anything goes wrong don't blame me! I will set the curse in action for tomorrow' He said and vanished.

Tamaki smiled to himself and went home, thinking that this new plan should teach his friends not to ignore him anymore!

_The next day…._

'Morning Haruhiiii!' Tamaki-sempai said prancing into class 1A as if he'd belonged there his whole life.

'Sempai, you should get to class' She said not even bothering to look up at him from the book she was reading.

'You'll be late'

'Ohhh isn't Haruhi happy to see me?' He whined. Inside he was grinning; if his plan was going to work he had to be as annoying as possible.

'No, I am not, now go away'

'Oh Haruhi, how nice it is that you're so concerned about me being late!' Tamaki exclaimed. By now they were beginning to attract a small crowd.

'No idiot I'm not, it's just that you're making people stare. Go away'

There were a few fan girls whispering about Haruhi being mad at Tamaki because they were in a secret relationship.

*Fan girl mind theatre*

Haruhi is sitting in the host club room crying. Tamaki walks in and sweeps him **(remember they think that Haruhi is a guy)** into a gentle hug, tipping Haruhi's face up towards his.

'Oh Haruhi, I couldn't ever leave you for that woman, you are all I'll ever need!'

Haruhi looks up through teary eyes.

'Oh Tamaki I'm sorry, I don't know how I could have ever been so stupid, How could you ever forgive me!'

'Oh Haruhi, you are my one true love, nothing could ever come between us!'

'Oh Tamaki!'

Tamaki's face gets closer and closer towards Haruhi's.

*End of fan girl mind theatre*

Cue the screaming and fainting girls.

Back in the real world Haruhi glared at Tamaki and he quickly left.

'Ah, ok bye!' He yelled quickly crashing into two students on his way out the classroom.

He was fully prepared to go into host mode and apologise when he realised it was just Hikaru and Kaoru.

'Oh, it's just you two'

'Tono you're so mean!' Kaoru smirked.

'Yeah, you banged into us and don't even apologise!' Hikaru grinned like the Cheshire cat.

'Oh did you want me to apologise?' He tipped his head to the side a bit.

'No its fi…' Hikaru started but it was too late, Tamaki had already gone into host mode.

'My dear friends! I am so very sorry I banged into you! I wouldn't have been able to live with myself thinking that I had injured you.' He said twirling around and smiling his brightest smile.

'Go away idiot king' they said together, walked past him into their classroom and slammed the door.

Tamaki headed to class and the day went by as usual, but with Tamaki being even more annoying than usual.

The host club also went by as usual, with Tamaki and Haruhi gaining even more guests than usual.

When the host club was over for the day and everyone was just sitting around Tamaki was being even MORE of a pest and even Honey and Mori called him an idiot, irritating, annoying, an imbecile, stupid, dumb or silly at some point.

'Sempai, I'm going home you really are being a pain' Haruhi said grumpily grabbed her stuff and stormed out of the club room.

'Us too, you're an even bigger idiot than usual today tono' the twins said together and left.

There were only the 4 oldest hosts left in the room.

'Hey Honey-sempai…' Tamaki started but was cut off.

'Sorry Tama-chan but uh… we have to have dinner with our parents tonight! Yeah that's it! Our parents! Were REALLY sorry, see you tomorrow!' He grabbed Usa-chan and all but dragged Mori-sempai out of the room.

'I have work to do, goodbye Tamaki' Kyouya said closing his laptop and leaving his friend in the music room.

'I'll leave you to lock up'

Once all his friends left Tamaki decided he may as well go home and wait to see how his plan had worked out.

_Haruhi's house_

Haruhi walked up the stairs to her apartment building to see her father standing in outside to door.

'Dad what's wrong?' She asked.

'Oh, I just can't get the door open' Ranka laughed

'I'm such an idiot sometimes'

Haurhi took the keys from her father and (With a great deal of effort) managed to open the door.

As she did a heap of boxes labelled Bug buster 5000's spilled out the door and down the stairs leading up to her apartment. She just stood there in shock wondering why the hell there were hundreds boxes of useless junk spilling out of her house.

'_Tamaki!_' She thought '_That rich bastard…_'

_The twins mansion_

Hikaru and Kaoru climbed out of their limo and strolled towards their family mansion.

'Tono was being a really huge pain in the ass today' Hikaru sighed as they trudged up the stairs towards their room.

'Yeah even more so than usual' Kaoru agreed

'I wonder what's gotten into him'

Right as they opened the double doors to their bedroom, a heap of the 'Holy Bible: the complete stories of the new testament on DVD' DVD's poured out and flooded the corridor.

'Holy… What the… How the….' The twins said as they clambered to the top of the mountain of DVD's.

They exchanged a look.

'Tono'

_Honey and Mori_

Mori and Honey arrived at Honey's mansion relieved to be away from Tamaki.

'Tama-chan was being a big pain today wasn't he Takashi?' Honey said to his cousin as they got out the limo and walked inside.

'Aa' Mori said as he gave a big box of cake to a maid for Honey to have after dinner.

'I wonder what was wrong' Honey added tilting his head slightly to the side.

'Mm'

As they opened the door to Honey's room and a heap of 'Bagel guillotines' spilled out.

'Ah Taka-chan, THE POOR BAGELS!' He cried and leapt onto his cousin.

Mori just stared in shock and comforted his cousin.

'Morinozuka-san' a maid came rushing up to him.

'There is a phone call from your brother' she said.

'Aa' Mori answered, put Honey down and took the phone.

'Big bro! Guess what? A maid went to put away some clothes in your bedroom and there was a big pile of 'Singing bird alarm clock' clocks in there' he said

'You can see when you get home, I just wanted to tell you because I'm pretty sure there not yours'

'Aa' Mori said. He hung up and proceeded to leave and check out the mess at his house, wondering how a heap of 'Singing bird alarm clock' clocks could have gotten in his room.

'Wait Taka-chan, I know you have to leave but I think I know how these things got in our rooms' he said. Suddenly Mori realised the connection as well.

'Tamaki'

_Kyouya's mansion_

As Kyouya's private limo pulled up at his family mansion he saw his sister and the house's staff (maids, cooks etc.) standing outside. He climbed out the car, and as he did he saw the big boxes of 'Ab rockets' and 'thigh busters' exercise equipment that was spilling out of his house.

'Kyouya, welcome home' His sister said.

'Just one small (actually huge) problem. There seem to be a whole heap of this cheap commoner exercise equipment spilling out of the mansion and no-one knows why. It's pretty lucky father wasn't home. Actually, we could sell this stuff! I wonder how much it would go for…' Fuyumi trailed off, jabbering on about selling the stuff and how none of the maids knew where it had come from.

Kyouya just stood there, his anger levels building up and the scary dark purple aura around him growing.

'That stupid idiot! He's going to be cleaning the clubroom for a year or longer, he'll be dead by the time I'm done with him' He grumbled and as he said that another 'Ab rocket' appeared in his bedroom.

At Tamaki's mansion he shivered.

'Why do I have the feeling there are lot of people that are mad at me?'

**THE END**

**Well, that's the ending to my not so great story (it SO did not turn out the way I wanted it)**

**Anyway, I hope that you like it!**

**Please review, they make my day **

**Bye!**

**TotallyRandomAwesomeness**

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